Frank owned a cheese castle in England, but there were never any customers. So he decided to sell the store and start a potato factory in Idaho. Where he could build his own potatoes. After he sold his castle he took one more look at his castle and he saw a giant sign that he had never seen before and it looked like it had been there for years and it said "Closed."
Its good, i dont think it needs any changes
ReplyDelete"Where he could build his own potatoes." Instead of build say grow.
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting situation that leaves the reader curious. Has his castle been closed for the entire time Frank lived there? Does it just seem like it has been there forever because Frank is impatient to start up his new life? When writing a hook, consider how you might guide your reader into asking such questions, as an incentive to keep reading.
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